We used to nickname her pumpkin when she was younger

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Those big brown eyes; are they yours or are they mine?
The image of you floating over mine in the mirror.
The words on the screen are not adequate to explain
why it is I am awake.
It is absurd for me to even try.

I stare at the walls of the night time room
I feel you in the reflection of the darkness.
As though I can reach out and touch you but
it is absurd to even try.

I close my eyes and I follow my heart
to a space of light where you are.
It is like trying to find you in the vastness of the universe.
It is absurd for me to even try.

Yet your presence is somewhere shimmering off of the air
right next to my skin, in my hair.
I feel you whisper but there are no words.
The tension builds inside of me from lack of understanding,
it is absurd for me to even try.

That vast void that once seemed to be my eternal destiny
is being filled by your unknowable reflection,
the reflection of you that I can not hold.
The void was the size of the universe and that is where you now dwell.
Do you think you can fill it?
It is absurd for you to even try.

But I don't want you to go
I don't want you to not try.
I will look at your eyes in the mirror;
live life so you can look through mine.
It would be absurd for me not to try.

I will reach out in the darkness
feel your hand on mine
even though my body denies it
my heart would be broken if I believed that...
it was absurd for me to try.

I will listen to your whispers
despite my not hearing what you are saying,
I will watch the dancing lights
and hope it is you
it would be absurd for me not to try.

How absurd of me to think I can
reconcile such opposing absurdities.

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