We used to nickname her pumpkin when she was younger

Saturday, February 25, 2012

The cost of death

This will be a short post but it's something I wanted to share with people. Parents generally expect to outlive their children, I know I did.  When I started my job at St. Mary's University I was asked if I wanted to sign up for life insurance on Alysia.

When the funeral and burial was all said and done, it cost $15, 000 and I went to collect from my insurance and was told I didn't opt for dependent life insurance. I could picture myself in the HR office filling out forms, first day there, nervous and excited,  and I probably felt that getting life insurance on my daughter was somehow wrong, almost feeling like I would be putting some strange hex on her if I did. It wasn't much insurance I could have received, $2500, but it sure would have helped.

But the one thing we also didn't think of is what will happen to the plots around her?  We have to be buried next to her or close to her! So yet another expense incurs in purchasing in advance, our plots.  Between Tomi and I, the total bill for the plots were around $5000.  So in all reality the funeral cost $20, 000.

Luckily through the generosity of Tom Sr. and some money left over in Alysia's estate we were able to cover these expenses.  The money side of death is very disturbing to the soul.  I received bills and cheques and it tore at my heart to think my daughter's life  was summed up in account numbers, and cheques and funeral bills.  The stress it put on me was unreal. It took us a long time to be able to chose the headstone design because we hadn't paid the burial bill until five months later.  We were not allowed to get the headstone until the bill was paid.  Seems harsh but it is a business. A business dealing in death.

Those commercials you see on TV about life insurance and not burdening your loved ones left behind, maybe hokey, but they are true. Children don't get their own life insurance so it is up to the parents to think of the worst possible thing that could happen and buy an insurance policy on their children.  Please believe me, it doesn't put a hex on them. Alysia passed away despite my not purchasing life insurance.  Hopefully you will never need to use it but trust me when I say, it would have made my life a little easier in such a hard time.

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